i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize