The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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