I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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