hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize