just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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