What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize