I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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