he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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