We named our party play list daddy issues
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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