Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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