i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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