Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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