Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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