Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Randomize
Follow @tfln