just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
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Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
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Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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