Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
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Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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