D3 body, D1 cock
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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