she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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