you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize