well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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