Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize