Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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