I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We need to rekindle our bromance
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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