Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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