plz talk dirty to me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize