The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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