I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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