I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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