Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize