there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
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I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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