Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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