i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize