Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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