I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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