I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize