my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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