I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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