with your own penis?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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