I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize