Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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