Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it hurts more in the daytime
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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