my mouth tastes like poor choices
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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