and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize