would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize