so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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