I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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