The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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