absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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