Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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