I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Swine flu. Run for my life!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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